Did Phil Collins Really Ruin Music?

Bag Revisits his Revelation 17 Years Later 

For 17 years, I have lived under the assumption that Phil Collins ruined music. It happened in the summer of 1986. A year after England’s Howard Jones released the terrific album "Dream Into Action." I remember where I was the first time I came into contact with that album. Notice I say album, because CD’s were just starting to happen in 1985. As I further date myself, I was on the campus of Rutgers University, masquerading under the guise of a blinded and naïve film student. I was spending a break between classes where I usually did – a local record store. That’s when I first heard the song "Things Can Only Get Better." Suddenly, everybody in the store was singing along with the chorus, and I was sold. I asked the employee who it was, and I bought the album less than a week later.

A year later, something happened that forever changed music. "Dream Into Action" contained a brilliant ballad named "No One Is To Blame." I still have that original LP, with the original rendition. Unfortunately, Phil Collins stepped in, and joined with Howard Jones to redo the song with a Casio-like drumbeat, faster tempo, and morbidly awful orchestration. This utter piece of modern trash became Howard Jones’ biggest hit. It gets worse. The new, modern version of the song replaced the old version on forthcoming LP and CD releases of "Dream Into Action" and all subsequent "Greatest Hits" collections. Except for the limited few who bought the album when it was released, people do not even know there is another version! Try going to Kazaa or iMesh to download the true version of the song. Good luck. Or try going to an online CD store where you can hear snippets of songs. Again, good luck. Only Phil Collins’ Euro-trash version remains. The masses spoke, and the masses won. And the masses (along with Phil Collins) ruined music.

The 80’s ended, and the 90’s emerged, still having Phil Collins nightmarish efforts overshadowing what should have been a great musical decade. And now, we are in 2003, and the Grammy Awards are about to be given out. In the past, the Grammy’s always tilted toward more cultured music, and clueless choices. Hard to forget has-been’s Jethro Tull’s inclusion in the first "hard rock" category. I have long since stopped watching award shows, and I figured that might not change when I saw that Avril Lavigne led all nominees at the American Music Awards, and also had numerous Grammy nominations. But I will not say another word about Avril, because hate mail continues to bombard my E-Crap mailbox over my other Avril comments (E-Crap Disses Avril). Instead, I finally looked at all the nominees, and while half of the stuff nominated is total crap, a few worthy contenders have emerged to give us all hope again.

Three out of five "Best Record" nominees are deserving (Vanessa Carlton’s "A Thousand Miles", Norah Jones’ "Don’t Know Why", and Eminem’s "Without Me."). Including Nickelback (the song fake alternative stations played twice an hour for three straight months), and Nelly (get rid of the band-aid, please. Stop supporting criminals) just shows us we’re not all the way back yet.

Album of the Year is pretty much a joke. I’ve been a Springsteen fan since I could walk (growing up a few miles from his house, and seeing/meeting him countless times on the Jersey Shore), but "The Rising" is an awful album. I know I’m supposed to say good things about it because it tributes 9/11, but sorry, it’s bad. Nelly (please), Dixie Chicks (please), Eminem (a good choice – should win hands down), and Norah Jones (good choice, 2nd best) round out the field.

Song of the year includes Avril’s "Complicated" (notice she only co-wrote this one. I’ll bet I can guess the parts she wrote), and Bruce again. "A Thousand Miles" should win, with "Don’t Know Why" (Norah Jones) the next best song. Alan Jackson? A country song? Don’t they have their own category?

Best New Artist has always been my favorite category, and this year’s (surprisingly) doesn’t disappoint. Michelle Branch (who really broke out in 2001), and is an E-Crap favorite, should win hands down even though it’s a year late. Norah Jones is also deserving. John Mayer is overrated. Avril Lavigne is, well, Avril. No way she wins this award. And Ashanti, does she actually sing? Or does she just kind of "coo" along in duets? I’ve never heard her do anything solo. All I hear is her singing a chorus of "I…Want to be your chick…" and other similarly profound lyrics. Yeah, she surely is the best new artist (gag) of the year.

Seemingly, for every Avril, Britney Spears, or Pink nomination, there is an equal amount of No Doubt (Gwen, please lose the belly shirts and "Teen Vogue" covers – you’re in your 30’s!), Elvis Costello, P.O.D., Godsmack, or James Taylor represented. Meaning the Grammys are half way there.

I guess I went off topic. I never meant this to be a review of the Grammy nominations, but it was the easiest (and most topical) way to prove my point that music is not completely lost.

As always, I’d love to hear your comments.