Am I an Exhibitionist?

Or do I just like to have men look at my body?

(This CLASSIC SEX CRAP column first appeared @ E-Crap on 1/30/2003)

The thought never really occurred to me, although I have on more than one occasion fit the profile of a specific type of sexual deviant (pervert?). And the thought might never have come to me had a co-worker the other day not called me one. It was really quite innocent. It was a warmer winter day, and I wore a short skirt into the office. I was sitting in a chair with my legs crossed, and I guess my skirt hiked up a little farther than I realized. After all, I was engrossed in such tantalizing conversation with my co-worker (sarcasm). Anyway, a different male co-worker passes by, gives me the once-over, and teasingly calls me an exhibitionist. Oh, he laughed and smirked as though he was joking, but I wasn’t so sure.

It wasn’t until I got home that night that I remembered two separate dreams I had over the previous month. In one, I must have just seen a TV commercial for a "Girls Gone Wild" video and I guess the thought was on my mind, because in the dream, I was partying with a lot of people around and I kept flashing my breasts to anyone who would look! I even remember jiggling them as I showed them, smiling the whole time. The only thing missing was Snoop Dogg. Then, a few weeks prior, I was out about town completely naked. I was doing my regular things, like going to a bank and a post office. But I was not wearing a stitch of clothing. At first, I thought the dream was initiated by a scene from the movie "Joy Ride," which I had watched on HBO that night. But after the office incident, I wasn’t so sure anymore.

Add to all of this the fact that I have always enjoyed stripping and dancing for my lover prior to sex. If you have read my past columns, I have talked about it often. How I love to see the man’s face (and his pants) react as my clothes come off one piece at a time. How I want him to see my naked body in full light before having that same body ravished in a little more darkness. And of course, there was the trip to a nude beach this past summer. I was looking forward to my first beach disrobing, except we found the wrong beach! How much more evidence do I need? Am I an exhibitionist or not? The answer is…

No.

I am not an exhibitionist. Not in the clinical (or perverted) sense. I am simply someone who sometimes likes to show her body, and sometimes tease men (or women). While sitting on a chair, or a train. Or in a doctor’s office. And I like to wear short skirts, and do striptease dances for my men. But I am not an exhibitionist, because the definition of the term means that to be one, I would have to get sexually aroused through the practice of showing my private areas to unsuspecting strangers. And I have never done that. And even if I did, I would not get sexually aroused by it. At least not to unsuspecting strangers. Or at least I hope I wouldn't.

But if I am not an exhibitionist (even though I seem to have many of the characteristics), who are these people who get sexual gratification at the surprise (and sometimes dismay) of others? Well, according to those sex experts, Masters and Johnson (1995, Human Sexuality), the average exhibitionist is married, employed, with above average intelligence and possesses absolutely no other signs of any emotional problems. Emotional problems, you ask? Yes because many "experts" tend to believe that exhibitionism is indeed a mental disorder. Medically speaking (according to www.behavenet.com), to be diagnosed with this disorder, you must meet the following criteria:

A. Over a period of at least 6 months, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving the exposure of one's genitals to an unsuspecting stranger. 

B. The person has acted on these urges, or the sexual urges or fantasies cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulty.

And according to www.dickflash.com, some of the treatments (for those who want to be treated for this condition) are quite harsh, including shock therapy, chemical nauseants, and chemical castration!

Not surprisingly, the Internet is full of information and sites dedicated to exhibitionism. And I would be lying if I said I was not captivated reading about some of the daily adventures of those who partake in this activity. The most interesting reading came from this forum board (http://www.dickflash.com/phpBB2/). Here’s an excerpt…

"I was in my car in the car park when I saw these two 17 year olds (give or take a year) outside KFC. They kept walking back and forth. I decided to try and park in a "strategic" position But it was not to be. As soon as I stopped, they walked off. So I decided to drive off in their deirection to see what was happening. As soon as they turned a particular corner, I knew (with 90% certainty) where they were going: Around the back of the centre where all the loading bays are, there are public toilets. I took a chance that they were heading there and drove over there ahead of them.

I parked about 20-30 meters ahead of the toilet entrance, walked around to the passenger side and waited (getting rather excited by the prospect). The way I was positioned, noone could see me except for anyone standing directly outside the entrance to the toilets. I was wearing my full exposure shorts as I was standing there, facing away from the toilets. I was also wearing my rearview sunglasses . It was through them that I looked the whole time

About 10 seconds after I was in position, they showed up. I quickly pulled off my shorts so I was nude from the waist down. Within about 2 seconds, I was spotted by the brunette (they were both really cute. One baby-faced blonde and one brunette). I could actually hear them talk to each other, but couldn't make out what they were saying.
The brunette alerted the blonde and they both stared at me with seemingly great interest and amusement. By now, I have been in this (almost) exact situation so many times that I was not prepared to do a quick change and move on.

My heart was beating a milliion miles an hour as I alternated leaning into the car, then standing up, then picking up some underwear etc. I just didn't want the moment to end. They were giggling like school girls and carrying on - not taking their eyes off me…"

And it goes on a little further. There are both men and women represented in the forum, and I would encourage anyone interested in learning more about this subject to check out this forum first. There really is some fascinating, true-life reading.

Lastly, as I often do, I solicited some opinions from my Internet friends, including many from my sponsor site, www.sexyads.net. Interestingly, most of the guys I chatted with had done what they thought was exhibitionism in their lifetime, but actually did not count in the clinical sense. The guys all experienced times when they "mooned" other people, or dropped their shorts in front of a girl in school, or showed their front or backside while drunk in a bar. Similarly, some of the women I chatted with had attended Mardi Gras in New Orleans, where bearing breasts is commonplace. Others had participated in wet t-shirt (or no t-shirt) contests, and some have even flashed passers-by in their cars. And while part of these situations qualify since some of the parties viewing were unsuspecting, the flashers never really got sexually aroused. The only one who did was a gal who regularly participated in the wet or no t-shirt contests, but she disqualifies because the viewers were not unsuspecting. There were there to see bare breasts, period!

So be ready, everyone. If a gal who looks like me walks by you with a long overcoat, make sure you slow your walk or you might miss my first (and last) flash!