The Rita Archives
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WANDERING
EYES WANT TO KNOW
Have you
ever wondered why your girlfriend gets a fat 'tude every
time a hot chick passes by and you visibly enjoy ‘the
view'? It’s
like landscape all around you, why can’t you appreciate
the natural beauty of your surroundings without her taking
it so personally?
And besides, you don’t get all bent out of shape
when she openly stares at other hunky handsome men, right?
Or do you just not notice? Hmmm...
Men
typically feel it's an instinctive response to visually take
inventory of a woman's 'package,' and that his girlfriend
should not let her own insecurities cause her to be
threatened by this. It’s
easy to acknowledge that beauty and attractive features grab
our attention. When
we encounter those who are not so easy on the eyes we
quickly avert our attention away from that person.
But when what we see is rather pleasing to the eyes,
our attention lingers much longer and many times is
accompanied by a few lustful thoughts.
For example... your
waitress is taking your order - you are looking at her face
but you really don’t hear her because you're picturing her
beautiful full lips wrapped around your hardness, hot and
wet - up and down.... You snap out of it just in time to pretend you heard the
specials. A
curvy cutie at the office bends over to file something in
the bottom drawer and you are right there to grab her tiny
waist and give it to her doggy-style; for the most
gratifying three seconds ever - in your mind of course!
Ever watched a woman do her yoga or palates? By the time she's finished you've fucked her in 56 different
positions, right? - hope it was good for her too. He he.
Tell me
I’m lying! Tell
me you don’t have these types of thoughts.
You do! And
we all know it... including
your girlfriend who needs to stop being so insecure, right?
But I wonder if insecurity is always the culprit for
ruining your fun. From
the time we first start learning about sex education, were
taught 'men think of sex every 7 seconds (more like 3
actually)... or
when they see a girl they immediately wonder what she looks
like naked. I’ve
done my research by talking to lots of guys who say it's
pretty much true. In some cases a woman may just feel a
little embarrassed when even the
most casual observer can see her man is practically
making love to another woman with his eyes, while she is
standing there waiting for him to finish, and pass the salt
she just asked for... and feeling a little invisible.
There are
other issues that come into play as well.
For many women in our society beauty seems to be an
area of competition. Most
are consumed by it, thinking only one of us can be 'the
fairest of them all'. Let’s
say you are with your girl when a stunningly gorgeous woman
comes around, and unintentionally you become a little
mesmerized by her movements.
Your girlfriend feels like you’re literally
announcing to this woman "I'm so taken by your beauty,
WOW!" right in front of her.
That other woman then basically acknowledges to your
girlfriend "well, it looks like I certainly have your
man's attention! Seems
like he's REAL interested in what's going on over here with
me! How you feel about that?"
I’ve known women who appear to be very self assured
and carefree in accepting that there are loads of beautiful
women on the planet who their men will notice and
appreciate... even in her presence - BUT,
still feel an open 'display' (oogling) of your appreciation
is somewhat inappropriate.
WHY?
When a man
keeps looking at me it kind of feels like he's flirting and
it's usually the way we communicate interest. I feel he's
practically inviting me to come over the minute his wife
gets up to go to the bathroom.
All I know is I don’t want to mistakenly give
anyone the impression I am flirting with them while I’m
with my baby so I typically won’t even look in their
direction. Recently I had lunch with Greg; he's a lawyer and
one of my best buddies.
As we laughed and giggled I noticed people watching
us, admiringly thinking we were such a happy (and
attractive) couple. Out
of the corner of my eye I also noticed a FINE specimen who
definitely caught my eye, but I didn’t dare take a closer
look. Even
though we are not really a couple I’m not going to be
openly lusting after other guys while were together.
If I’m with you and you're my man, but I keep
starring at the bulge in every guys pants as they walk by -
I can’t imagine that would make you feel very good, would
it? Most guys would start feeling a little insignificant.
Maybe your girlfriend feels this way, or is
struggling NOT to feel that way since make her feel like
there's something seriously wrong with her if it bothers her
so much. I
don’t ever want anyone I’m with to feel this way so I
simply resist the temptation in their presence, trusting
that there will be plenty hot guys I can admire when I’m
by myself. The people who
thought me and Greg were such a charming couple are now
looking at Greg like 'hmm, maybe he's GAY and they're more
like 'girlfriends'....
or 'if that is her man, he must not be handling his
business cuz she doesn’t even try to be discreet with her
shit'. Greg
is an awesome guy who people respect and trust, he doesn’t
deserve to have people looking at him like he's a punk or
questioning his manhood because of my 'reckless eyeballing'
if you will. You see, our behavior sends messages to people
around us who only know what they can SEE.
In the complicated world of relationships it pays
huge dividends when you show regard and consideration for
others feelings and the type of messages that your actions
communicate.
I’m not
here to say that any thing is right or wrong, good or bad.
I’m just saying a little discretion can go a long
way, and it's a small price to pay if it saves you the
headache of an argument or looks that could kill, from the
one you love....
I’m
always interested in hearing your feedback and experiences,
and especially on this one so write me...
Yours
truly
The G
Rita G. is one of the most popular
models in the world. Her appearances, and subsequent airings
on Howard Stern’s E! Network television show in late 2003,
were among the highest rated ever, causing them to be
repeated faster than any other Stern episodes up to that
time. Since then, she has appeared as a correspondent for
BET (Black Entertainment Television), appeared on radio with
Dr. Dre, and Hot 97 out of NYC, appeared in dozens of
magazines, including the cover of the nationally syndicated
Smooth Girl magazine. Rita has also been featured in
Playboy, and in December 2005 was named the new Sex/Advice
Columnist for Playboy's "Special Edition"
Magazine. She is featured on her website, www.rita-g.com.
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