and
WHY ARE THEY SO MUCH BETTER AT IT???
This burning question comes
to me from a young, successful, attractive man with a
megawatt smile, irresistible boyish charm... and if
that weren't enough he oooozes RAW sexuality! Did I say
irresistible? I cant imagine this kind of man having to
ask this kind of question. So in my efforts
to shed some light for this brother, I went straight to
the source and talked with other women in
relationships with men to find out why they cheat,
in their own words...
"I cheat whenever I
dont get something from my man or whenever he's not
treating me right"
"I have cheated when my
emotional and physical needs weren't being met"
"I cheat because I love
sex and I only get it maybe 3 times a week. And
sometimes when I do get it I have to ask and I am
sometimes told no!!!"
"Many reasons I think
we women cheat. Either we receive a lack of
attention from our partner, to get him back if he has
cheated on me, and poor self self image might play a
part in wanting to feel loved and wanted by
someone."
It sounds like these women
cheat because they hurt. They have pain from not
having their hopes and dreams of romance fulfilled.
However in my opinion I think the underlying reason
could more likely be low self esteem. Many women
endure childhood experiences and unhealthy relationship
experiences that have damaged their self esteem to the
point that they have a constant need for others to
acknowledge their beauty, show them excessive admiration
and affection in order to feel that they are worthy of
love. It's an impossible task for any man and
totally unrealistic to rely on your mate to do
this all the time. But when this kind of attention
stops coming from a partner the woman starts to feel
insecure and becomes more susceptible to receiving it
from other men since they unconsciously find their worth
in the attention they receive from the men in their
lives. A woman with self awareness who is truly
secure knows that her value lies in her depth of
character, her spiritual self, and in her self-reliance
- NOT in mere physical attributes. We're all
worthy and deserving of love - simply because we're
born, not because were pretty or smart or anything
else.
WOMEN - when we cheat we are
choosing instant short term gratification over long term
emotional gratification and avoiding having to take a closer
look at what we might be doing to contribute to the
problems your experiencing in your relationship. You
have to remember that men are CLUELESS to the kind of
things that are obvious to women about dating and
relationships. However it's a mistake to let your
communication be driven by your unmet needs and desires
focusing only on what YOU want the relationship to be...
without honestly and critically considering the man's
perspective, his emotional state, his communication
skill (or lack thereof), and where he's coming from at
the same time.
MEN - if you want to know
the secret that just might 'cheat-proof' your
relationship, it's called INTIMACY. It's
the sense of closeness that flows from an open,
meaningful exchange of thoughts, feelings, and
affection. I know, that's a tough one:-) Another
tip, if you're the one who has cheated first you
might want to consider just movin' on cuz the average
woman is likely to feel like she's got a 'get out of
jail free' card in her pocket and secretly want to 'get
you back'. that's so childish but you got
some real vindictive ho's out there that love to play
that revenge shit.
And lastly why are women
better cheaters? Hmmm, I think woman have a
tendency to plan ahead and men just do, without much
thought, then face the consequences when and if they
come. Everyone thinks women are better liars (not
me - I suck at it). I don't know that they're
better cuz men can definitely tell some good lies.
I just know women can be nosey asses and always on
detective mode cuz they know how scandalous other
bitches are too. Guys stick together, but when
their friends are questioned there are a million holes
in the story cuz guys aren't too good at covering for
each other. Overall, I think guys are
the real masters of this game, women are just the
masters of finding out...
To Mr. megawatt smile - hope
this helps, or at least entertains. For the
record, I don't support cheating in any way shape or
form - well maybe in dominoes:-)
