The Rita Archives
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BOOTYLICIOUS
I know there are those of you who don’t know me personally and will never get to experience my charming, whimsical and witty ways… and I wanted to show you this other side of me, I guess all I have to do is turn around right? Just kidding… you wanna know what one of my favorite pastimes is? I love depriving people the opportunity to look at my ass in public, is that stupid? I don’t know but I get a really big kick out of it. It’s like a game and when I am successful I feel like Shaquille O’Neal blocking an attempted dunk “GET THAT SHIT OUTTA HERE!!!!”
It’s hilarious to me when I watch men, they see you coming from the front and they can already tell when a woman is packing from the way her hips are shaped. I’ve passed men talking on a cell phone and they’ll literally place the call on hold to take the opportunity to see me walk pass and appreciate the view. ‘uh.. hold on for a minute – I’m preoccupied over here (DAYUM!)… okay, I’m back’. Then you have guys that try to time it all perfectly when you walk by so they can swivel their head at that precise moment and catch that oh so round and juicy profile…… which is the angle of all angles if you catch the right chick… and oh soo satisfying the longer you can peep it until she walks out of view.... but of course if the booty was truly ALL THAT, then you can hold onto the image in your head a little longer than the five seconds you normally allot before another tight round one walks by… and like busses, there’s always another one just around the corner
My favorite times are when I’m in the grocery store. I purposely ‘bait’ guys and lead them down isles with tampons and pregnancy tests and then baby food and watch them pretend to look for shit, just to prove to them that I know they’re following me – for the sole purpose of watching my ASS!! Now I said I get them to follow me – but I didn’t say I let see my ass ;-) I can usually tell the moment they spot me and decide to get in position to watch me go by, then I go to work. I’ll maneuver the basket in such a way that my body (and booty) are in back of it instead out front and easy to view. Or I’ll use something I’m holding to further obscure the ‘view’ and make them continue to linger around waiting for a ‘clean look’. Just know, you ‘gon work hard for that look – cuz I be playing defense like a ‘muthafucka’!!!!! YEAH!
There are also times when I’m walking past a guy I know is getting ready to look back, I make a u-turn (turn to face him) and start walking backwards… with a friendly wave hello. With a not so friendly ‘How you doing??’ ‘Can I Help YOU?’…. lol…. I’m so funny, I definitely crack myself up!!..... I cant forget the men who are walking with their wives and girlfriends, there on the 20-second delay. They wait until you get about 10 feet away and pretend as if there is some totally unrelated reason they have to look back. BTW – unless your girlfriend is blind, she’s probably very insulted that you think she has no clue what your doing. In fact I hear a lot on this subject from both sides so I’ve decided to do an entire article on it (start sending me your Q’s and comments about this and other subjects you would like to hear me write about)
Sometimes when I go out I feel like I want to apologize to other women on the scene with their men – cuz I be having on some shit that will force even the strongest of men to stare against their will! And I really do feel embarrassed for the woman who may feel this behavior in her presence causes her to feel less than honored and respected. I’m assuming mostly because it’s obvious the ‘looking’ is usually accompanied by lustful thoughts, ie (DAMN, I would fuck the shit outta her! etc..)
Most times hiding my ass is just a game I play, but my intentions are not cruel. For the most part if I see that guys are trying to be somewhat discreet, like just using their peripheral vision to take inventory just keep it moving – I do the same and keep it moving. But when guys want be all blatant and overt with they shit, and literally make me fell like ‘BITCH hurry up and turn around so I can see your ass!’ well that’s when I’mma play games. You make me feel uncomfortable, I’mma make you feel uncomfortable. You put me on the spot – I’mma put you on the muthafuckin spot…. With my pretty ASS!!! If I don’t say so myself……
Peace - Rita G
Rita G. is one of the most popular
models in the world. Her appearances, and subsequent airings
on Howard Stern’s E! Network television show in late 2003,
were among the highest rated ever, causing them to be
repeated faster than any other Stern episodes up to that
time. Since then, she has appeared as a correspondent for
BET (Black Entertainment Television), appeared on radio with
Dr. Dre, and Hot 97 out of NYC, appeared in dozens of
magazines, including the cover of the nationally syndicated
Smooth Girl magazine. Rita has also been featured in
Playboy, and in December 2005 was named the new Sex/Advice
Columnist for Playboy's "Special Edition"
Magazine. She is featured on her website, www.rita-g.com.
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